The old stove in our new apartment. I love the color…bought this teapot and didn't even plan that they matched. We had to buy a fridge for the new apartment, probably one of the most adult things I have done so far in my life. One of these fridges would have been a perfect fit!

I have been making a lot of tea lately. I am trying to fight off a cold. Or rather I am just trying to ride it out. The only good thing is even though I feel sick I have been trying to clean and pick up. Which in my world can only mean I am getting ready to paint. Getting ready to get back to those words that are bouncing around in my head.

another bed image…love the light in our bedroom. 

*This photographer creates amazing moods (love this pool image)
*I got the color film and I am going to try a take some night shots of the pools nearby.
*Hopefully I will have some photos of my balcony studio soon.

somewhere along riverside…

some moments around town…

*i love the 'kiss & ride' signs at the subway stations (such a beautiful little thought)
*so many donut shops (ah the love of sprinkles!)
*liquor stores…lots out here in the valley and with 'clever' names (there is this big clown one that frightens me - it has a huge huge neon clown sign)
*people taking horrible photos for headshots. (I so want to call out the window and tell them it is all wrong - the light, the position) it would be funny if it wasn't so sad
*most of the car wash places have a little food stand on site…perfect plan for the hungry person waiting for their car 

things I need to do 

-need to get some color film
-I bought a twin lens reflex camera on ebay, need to get it
-need to start painting again, bought some canvases at dick blick
-need to mix some paint for the above canvases
-need to take care of some emails
-need to finish unpacking my stuff and find a home for it
-need to go to the water again

We got a new apartment. We have internet again. But we also have to put everything away. I am still wrapping my head around the fact that it is winter and I can wear flip-flops.

Right now we are piled under boxes and trying to figure out where everything should go and all I want to do is crawl into bed and hide under the covers until everything finds a home. So for the next few weeks I will be here sporadically.

Risa's tea party was amazing, thank you everyone that came by. It was lovely to play along.

Risa is having a tea party!!
I love the sweets…cookies and the like, so I thought I'd bring some sweet treats to the party.

Some cupcakes (if you can get them before the birds do).

My absolute favorite…donuts with sprinkles. (I never understood why in nyc they only sprinkled half of the donuts…)

What an amazing get together! Thanks Risa!! 

The best strawberries that I have had in probably eight years. All my time in new york. I got them from the local farmer's market.  Unbelievably good and seven bucks for three pints you can never go wrong. The whole lot was so crazy sweet. 

Talking about sweet…how cool is this! Sleeping over at the Natural History Museum. 

Another word painting tomorrow. 

saudade (approx 4" x 5")
gouache on board

I painted. I finally stopped trying to figure out why it wasn't happening and it happend. I also  tried to stop beating myself up about it. I think it might have helped that I started working. That I started some sort of routine. Even if it isn't a regular one. The new apartment still isn't settled hopefully soon. I would love a place to call my own…all fingers crossed it will happen soon.  

My first word saudade (there is no particular order besides whatever comes out of my head first) was given to me by Anita and I love the mystery of the word. I love that it is only used by the Portuguese.

from wikipedia 

Saudade is generally considered one of the hardest words to translate. It originated from the Latin word solitatem (loneliness, solitude), but developed a different meaning. Loneliness in Portuguese is solidão (a semi-learned word), from Latin solitudo. Few other languages in the world have a word with such meaning, making saudade a distinct mark of Portuguese culture. It has been said that this, more than anything else, represents what it is to be Portuguese.

In his book In Portugal of 1912, A.F.G Bell writes:
"The famous saudade of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness."

Just for fun another photo of one of my beach days. I loved the pink and grey that was happening with the sky and water.

avila beach
guest photographer: the boy

This month or rather last month has been wiggly for me…being out of my element, out of my routine. I never realized how I depended on things. How important a train ride was. For sitting, for sketching, for listening. This year is going to be one of major change. Figuring out how to draw again. Finding the place that’ll work for me to draw. It's been hard the drawing thing. Not having a proper place to paint has been hard. Being in a stranger’s space is messing with my head. I am sort of at a standstill. Which is affecting me strangely. I feel a little like I am putting my creative energies on hold or something. Now I feel pressure when I go somewhere to sketch. I think part of it is that I haven't found 'my' place yet…

That should end soon, but in a different way than I expected. The Boy is back in nyc to pack us up. To move west. Yep we are moving west moving to so cal. It is really exciting, but a little part of me needs to mourn nyc. And I haven’t forgotten about my word project…the words are swirling around and several have made their way to sketch form in fits and starts. I just need to get them painted. I think this week I am going to get us settled in an apartment. Or rather sign the papers and hand over the money, so that should help a lot. To have our own space.

happy new year! 

this was at my grandpa's house, this ancient sleigh with ancient toys. I think one of the horses in the front had to get some repair done on his leg (when the sleigh moved to my dad's house) or maybe it was one of the wheels, regardless this says warm christmas to me.

this was the first year I got to help with the candy. wrapping them in tissue paper and hanging them on the tree. (I felt like such an adult - in a really good way)

In this house you hang the candy, then the lights, then the ornaments. that way you have to search to find the pieces of candy through out the tree. it is an extra christmas treat.

tree by the light of morning.

everyone have a very happy holiday…I'll be back some time next week.

*started my new journal

*sold almost everything at baz biz (two things left on the table at the end of the day) 

*got to make a trade there with Jamie Zollars whose work I love!

*love when the Boy and the Storyteller riff together…they make me laugh so hard

*there were two kung fu students practicing in a park near the new place we explored for breakfast

*the city is getting smaller and larger at the same time

*I went to stuart ng and got some beautiful books

*I realized the Boy and I are exploring the city the same way trixie explores the new apartment. She has a home base (usually the bedroom) then she'll come out and check out a new area. Then she goes back sort of 'tags' home base again to explore a bit further the next time

*the smell of wet dirt & grass remind me of after school practice
*wearing flip-flops is strange
*the weather feels like I dropped into spring, but the trees say fall
*I gave myself two days to do nothing, permission not even to get out of my sleep clothes
*that felt nice
*we are already going to take a road trip
*the grocery stores are so huge, I forgot about using a cart
*one of the ralph's grocery stores is so cold that the workers wear gloves
*I am still not used to the light
*I started sketches on a couple of words
*I need to swing into a routine
*need some jars for water & gouache